Before anyone passes judgment, may I remind you we are in the Arctic. -- Mulder

If you had to go without your cell phone for two minutes, you would get catatonic schizophrenia. -- Scully

"Just something that reminded me of you."
"What? An alien implant?"
"Two of them actually. I made them into earrings." -- Mulder and Scully

Does your policy include acts from extra-terrestials? -- Mulder

"You ever work this deep [in scuba diving]?"
"Not exactly..."
"What does 'not exactly' mean?"
"I once got a quarter from the bottom of the deep end." -- Mulder and boat operator

"Pick out something black and sexy and prepare to do some funky poaching." -- Mulder

"Sometimes the need to mess with their heads outweighs the millstone of humiliation." -- Mulder

"Birds do it, bees do it, even educated MD's do it."

"The birds the bees and monkey boys..."

I was born a loser, you're one by choice.

All lies lead to the truth.

There's a dead man in my apartment. He'll start stinking the place up soon. -- Mulder
 

No matter how paranoid you are, it's not paranoid enough.

Genderbender

Bad Blood

"They say it cuts the smell if you close your mouth."
"They lied." -- ? and Mulder

How can a eight year old boy who can barely multiply be a threat to national security, and they call me paranoid -- Mulder

Can we lose the cuffs, or do I have to do this with my tongue?

Here's a tip. Aluminum foil makes a lovely hat and it keeps out the government's mind control rays. -- Detective, episode where Lone Gunmen first meet Mulder

If I hear 'Silent Night' one more time, I'm taking hostages. -- Scully

"You don't believe in ghosts?"
"This surprises you?" -- Mulder & Scully

Most people would rather stick their finger in a wall socket than spend a moment with you. -- Maurice about Mulder

I don't show my hole to just anyone -- Lydia

"Not that my only goal in life is to prove you wrong."
"When have you proved me wrong?" -- Scully and Mulder

Have you ever searched for life on this planet?
I've seen life on this planet, that's why I'm looking elsewhere. -- Scully and Mulder

I'm trying not to be insulted by your reaction to my true face. -- Dexter

It's official, I am a horse's ass. -- Mulder

"Fear. It's the oldest tool of power. If you're distracted by fear of those around you, it keeps you from seeing the actions of those above."--Mulder

"Should we arrest David Copperfield?"
"Yes. But not for this." -- Scully & Mulder

Back to X-Files Quotes