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Scenes are like Chinese food -- good while you're reading them, but leave you hungry for more.
Contact your Inner Dolphin - try a depth charge
All's fair in love and war, except of course if you launch a cruise missile at your loved one's home. That wouldn't be too fair.
I've just bought some underwear with magnifying glasses sewn into the backside. Do you think they make my bum look big?
Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as cats do.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
None of the ideas expressed above are actually mine. They are told to me by Luthor and Ferdinand, the five inch tall space aliens who live under my desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them permission to eat any dust bunnies they may find under there.
Your eyes are weary from staring at the CRT. You feel sleepy. Notice how restful it is to watch the cursor blink. Close your eyes. The opinions stated above are yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise.
WARNING: I cannot be help responsible for the above, as apparently my cat has learned how to type.
Do I look like a freakin' people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
I've found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You! Off my planet!
Therapy is expensive, popping' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil...
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
Allow me to introduce my selves.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
Better living through denial.
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
Back off! You're standing in my aura.
I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
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