Real Life Quotes Part 4
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
I dance in the grocery store a lot. I get 5% off dairy products.
The trouble with the gene pool is it needs a life guard... and sharks.
Yes. The good-looking deserve our scorn! Fie on you, tall good-looking woman!
We're all beautimous in our own way! My way just happens to be shorter. With less leather. And more butt.
Who needs poetry and lingerie when you have Godivas?
I came, I saw, I royally prodded buttock.
Disney World - A people trap operated by a mouse.
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
Next from Intel: the Repentium.
When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question: How would the Lone Ranger handle this?
If you cry over losing the sun, your tears will make it impossible to see the stars.
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This product sadistically tested on gerbils.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
I have to be gross sometimes! It's in my charter!
I feel more weevil than Knieval.
I assure you that my tongue is as intact as the rest of me.
The feeling of superiority you get just isn't worth the aggravation of waiting.
I'm curious, not stupid!
Only the deranged can visualize this and emerge unscathed!
Doesn't Boboli sound like the name of a demented Italian clown?
It's weird to think of men you don't know seeing you in such skimpy clothes.
If you leave cuticle remover on too long, do your fingers fall off?
A dragon on the roof keeps burglars away.
There's a job for you, embroidering toilet paper.
Don't take your prison with you when you escape.
Life is like a bowl of jello--it just sorta ...sits there and, and wobbles.
You may soon be the winner of $10,000,000! You might also be a figment of your computer's imagination!
If you go out and get a social life now, you'll only learn how to make small talk and not the really deeply disturbing comments you'll need later in life.
Humans are only the top of the food chain at the supermarket.
I'm being aducted by aliens and I wanna mooch your gas card off you for the space ship before the mother ship comes to get me!