"I'm sorry, but it's against my religion to use electric devices to capture people's essences."
"Then why the hell did you take my picture?"
"Because I just changed religions five minutes ago."

When you ascend and your friends don't, the Acsended support group meeting. Time space coordinates TBD.

"This pizza is like charmin. It's squeezable and puffy."
"Pizza toilet paper."

I picked all your cards individually. So you better feel loved, damn it!

"So far, what have we learned? Sex is bad. Sex will get you killed."
"Horny males will get everyone killed."

They throw calculus problems at the impala. The mental strain confused them so much, they fell easily.

They want the fungus because it helps them.

I'll try not to laugh at their cultural traditions.

My ego can only take so much.

I'm not that kind of girl. Not with you anyway.

Did he wonder why you were laughing? Of course he wasn't, he was too busy cutting women up.

Flash us, baby!

I wouldn't be broke if the voices in my head paid rent.

The world is full of twits and I am their exterminator.

Maybe she's a Mexican kitty. She's been drinking tequila and wants to dance dance dance!

"While I'm up, can I get you anything else? A foot massage?"
"Ewwww... You're not touching my feet!"

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