IRC Quotes

He may have been an evil genius, but even he can't mock fire safety.

You must remember everything I say as if it came from God's lips! Except for the mistakes.

Society needs it's ass bitten

When more than 3 people get in same area, they get a pack mentality and become 'society'... they also drop down to the brain wave level of a doorpost...

It's ok to wear the bikini Martha! It's only twenty below zero outside!

Po' me! Only legal high going, and they brought me down too soon!

I'm bouncing between Maalox and maleficent.

Who knew medicating cats and getting pregnant could merge?

"Tell me something provocative...something shocking...something that's not slash"
"I'm drinking water"

Hey I love it when cute guys look at me then... wait never mind, I'm not going to finish that sentence.

Wasn't really listening, but when someone starts off talking about playing with themselves, my ears perk up.

Nothing odder than hearing giggles, turn the corner in a dungeon and have to kick a naked girl's ass.

By thorig's beard, it's hot in here!

"And why do all the male country singers have to wear cowboy boots, hats, etc? Can't they wear a nice tux?"
"No, they can''s against their pact with satan."

Good lord, I'm not constipated, I'm omnipotent.

The day I want a fluffy blondie type guy is the day I get a wife.

He's the human equivalent of the fabric softener bear.

I was a pioneer slut.

I'm not hungry really, I just want to have something in my mouth.

She'll spend all her Disneyland money bribing Mickey to take his  pants off!

Let's show the kids if you're hung like a man or a mouse, Mickey!

Richard Simmons is Satan's love toy.

Want a man! Not a bunny!

We're basically sluts - virgins, but sluts.

What goes on in the privacy of my orgy chamber is my own business.

Most people killed in auto accidents recover.

Beat me with anything you like.  Just untie me when you're done.

She's too regal to have glowing breasts.

Okay. so I close my eyes for a minute because I'm getting a headache and open them to find naked rhinos painting pictures of the Library at Alexandria.

I always recognize it's bed time when I begin contemplating Godhood.

I feel like my breasts have been put through the Spanish Inqusition.

oooooh!  His lipstick matches the whale's eye!

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