Drinking Quotes

I can have a burnoose and FLOPPY SOCKS!

Look... FLOPPY SOCKS! And I can make my toe click at the same time. With FLOPPY SOCKS!

What time is it? I can't see!

Oww.. hit hanger, face oww boo

They kept giving me wine! Every time I turned around, the waiter gave it to me because I said thank you.

See, I can still say cabernet saviougon, so I can't be that drunk.

He came around 5 times. And I drank it all. It would have been rude not to!

I need to take a shower and wash my hair. But I don't think I should. I'll drown!

What are you doing?
You don't want to know.

I feel sick. And that is funny for some reason.

Where's mom? I want to show her my FLOPPY SOCKS! Where did she go? Is she in the potty? Mom, are you in there?

I'll throw stuff at you until you quit.

Let's sing. 'Ahhh... I was... I don't know the words.'

I can't sit up. I've fallen, and I can't sit up.

Stop it. Stop that infernal typing.

Ahh... Now I fell the other way.

You're not drunk and you're acting stupid. What's your excuse?
I'm me.

Give me my pillow back.
You threw it!
And my babies! You stole my babies!

Is mom still in the bathroom? I want to show her my FLOPPY SOCKS!

Oh, I just snorted like I was a pig.

Stop it! Stop that typing you evil demon spawn!

Just because a ninja's typing doesn't mean her fingers can't be broken.

I'm going to take off the floppy socks. Ooo, they're even more floppy! It's off now!

Now I'm just in stockings. Legs so white. But my toe doesn't click.

Look! I still got Tigger! Ah! He fell! He's screaming in agony! I've got him! Look! He's safe!

Here's proof that getting me drunk would not necessarily lead to sex. Because I'll just make fun of you.

Get me drunk, and I'll just ridicule you.

I'm just as much fun as stupid woman with four nipples.

See, you don't need nipple piercings to be a fun person. Just copious amounts of alcohol.

Let's sing Twinkle twinkle tinkle little star

The key to life, and the answer to happiness is <sticks finger in air> Booze!

Let's see how many quotes I got.
You're bad. Taking avantage of me and my... ow I just poked myself in the eye.

I'd throw something at you, but I have nothing left to throw.

I'm not going to give you back your stuffed animals, because you'll throw them at me again.
You like it, and you know it.

I think I told her that I was a lesbian magnet.

4K of quotes.
You're bad. I'm going to get you one night.

We thought it was over, but you've gotten your second wind. Let me get my notebook.

"Bald headed woman!" -- sung to "More Than a Woman" by the Bee Gees

I'm not singing in a falsetto, because I'm not a Bee Gee.

I'm touching your butt! At least.

Don't stand on your toes.
I did! I stood on my toes!

It hurts to sing that high. And I'm a girl.

If a man could sing that high, he was... I was going to say an immortal.

So, if eunuchs are falsettos, why do the Bee Gees have kids?
They have kids?
Yes! They're virtually rabbits! Hey, Rabbit Bee Gees!

Staaaaaaying Alllliveeeee! I can't remember any other words! Is there any more words?

Dancing should be to disco music.

So you want to be a Bee Gee?

Stop writing down everything I say! Or I'm going to tie you to a railroad track. And call in your loan. And Dudley Doo right won't save you. and Splat! There'll be little bits all over the place.

Look! I'm hanging my clothes up

Will you stop that!

I knew there were other words! See, there are other words, and you didn't believe me. Puff daddy!

What kind of name is Puff Daddy? My boss said it's because he smokes cigars. And Baby Face is called Baby Face... because... he has a baby face... He's been called that since he was 10.

But Puff Daddy, I think of him as a cross between Puff the Dragon and The Stay Puff Marshmallow Man.

Which is more than I wanted to know about his sisters. But now you know.

I'm falling out of my bra. I'm shifting! And I don't have that much to shift.

Why am I singing in Italian? I'm drunker than I thought. I'm singing in Italian and I don't even know Italian!

Speedy Gonzales the mouse. No relation to that chihuahua yo queiro taco bell.

Rub my tummy. It's like a Buddha. I like my tummy better. Look, it's a drum! It's like a rhythm and blues section.

Itchy critchy itcy bitchy

I remember singing it, I remember the god awful video that went with it, but I don't remember the song.

What good are you? You're not drunk. I'm not drunk either. I'm perfectly sober. I'm just at... ease.

Should I run around in my underwear?
No. You're mom would freak.
But it's a sorta dress. It covers more than some of the dresses I own.

Don't I look like Dolly Parton now? Dolly Parton who lost her implants.

She's a vampire. She's compulsive.

See what balloons feel like? They feel like breasts.

I can't get them both in. They look like droopy breasts. I can't get them in.

Will you stop that?!



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