"Since when are you a Trekkie?"
"I'm not, I just like middle aged guys who are virgins." -- Dharma and Greg

Honey, I love you, but bite me. -- Dharma

Do you like the color.
Doesn't matter, I'm going to cover it with glitter. -- Greg and Dharma

There is nothing my dad likes better than experimental furniture. -- Greg

"Larry, what's the name of your dealer?"
"He's in jail."
"I meant your car dealer."
"Same guy." -- Dharma and Larry

"I've never driven a school bus."
"It's fun! It's like driving an ice cream truck, but we don't sell drugs." -- Greg and Dharma

"Practical? Honey, do you remember who you married?" -- Dharma