Hordes of ruthlessly trained monkeys are hidden away deep within the bowels of the park...bound to immense machines of destruction and family. -- The Undead Pirate LeChuck

I'm one of the walking dead! Formed not of flesh, but of fire and brimstone! How could I be in any more trouble? -- LeChuck

It just occurred to me that mixing medicine and alcohol is a really stupid and possibly lethal thing to do. If I were a real person instead of a lovable, inept cartoon character with the potential for a few more sequels... I wouldn't even consider it. Skoal! -- Guybrush Threepwood

You're so pale, you make snow look tan. -- Guybrush Threepwood

I don't like to chew anything a gorilla sat on. -- Guybrush Threepwood

Can I interest you in some shrapnelizing ammunition designed to bring equisite pain and unreasonable suffering to all your enemies? -- Kenny

Great sainted jumping monkeys! -- Edward VanHelgen

Nice cologne you're wearing. Did you actually roll around in dung or just dab a little behind each ear? -- Guybrush Threepwood

You fool! You've given cheese to a lactose intolerant volcano god! Do you know what that means? You've brought about the Coming of the Divine Dysentry! Run for your lives! -- Lemonhead

Is this going to be scary? Because I warn you, I'm easily startled and will scream like a baby. -- Guybrush Threepwood

Words! I need more words! My grasp of the language is not sufficient to describe the violent renching nausea you're singing has caused me to experience. -- Edward VanHelgen

The doomed voyage of the Obsessivo-Compulsivo will haunt me forever. -- Edward VanHelgen

Mooooo...I am Moosferatu, the demonic Jersey Cow. -- Guybrush Threepwood

Any tortures not involving pain, humiliation, or stickiness? -- Guybrush Threepwood

Madre de Dios! Es El Pollo Diablo! -- Captain Blondebeard

It's El Pollo Diablo! The giant demon chicken of Puerto Pollo!  -- Captain Blondebeard

You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.