Quotes said by Denise, Jen, Joanne, I, Ealasaid, Cory Doctorow, John Steakley, Jen, the waiter, Larry Niven, Terry Pratchett, KD Wentworth, Phil Foglio, Tad Williams, Allison Lonsdale, Liz Williams, Susan R. Matthews. If it was said during a panel, I consider it 'public' so it's attributed.

If we sing loud enough, maybe people will throw coins at us to shut us up.

"You have wonderful blue eyes."
"Why doesn't anyone notice my cheekbones?!"

Next time, I want to be on the non-Discworld side of the table.

"She's mean."
"So are you."
"How would you know? You just met me!"
"He's a good judge of character."

"A result of a genetic experiment gone horribly wrong."
"That's me!"

I've never heard 'hobbits' and 'dude' in the same sentence before.

It's hot, but it's not fatal.

Dinner at WorldCon, the musical!

"Is the Hives a musical group?"
"Yes, they're a Swedish punk rock band."
"Oh, I'm glad I asked."

If I'm going to be picked up and have a one-night stand, it isn't going to be him.

Fluffy's floppy thing doesn't have stickers on it?

She can go to bed. We'll start the drunken revelry.

It wasn't until my third book until I discovered something called 'plot'. -- Terry Pratchett

It's a good book if you can remove the humor and still have a story. -- Terry Pratchett

I mustn't go into the Monty Python impersonation quite yet. -- Terry Pratchett

It's amazing what you can steal. -- Terry Pratchett

If you have a suitably dark sense of humor, history is hilarious. -- Terry Pratchett

The best scifi humor takes things so horrible and makes them funny.

I'm telling Irish jokes and we're in California. The PC police are probably on their way! -- Terry Pratchett

Humor is a spice, but it's not the full meal. -- Terry Pratchett

I didn't want to be a humor writer. I wanted to be a heroic high fantasy writer. But, humor kept popping up. So, I settled for second best. -- Terry Pratchett

I think humor is a talent, you can't learn to be funny. And, I've read many manuscripts over the past year that proves that. -- KD Wentworth

Unfortunately, while this is a lovely computer, it's running Windows. -- Terry Pratchett

Always get a pornographer to take your jacket photo. That's my advice to you. -- Cory Doctorow

"Do you know the secret of how <names of 4 authors deleted for security reasons> got to the top?"
"They slept their way there?"

It's a Discworld conversation. My own version of hell.

Furries are scary!

I now have grenadine!

Yet another flight of stairs, and still no beer!

I feel like I should be in a goth version of a Beatles video.

Welcome to 'Torturing your Characters.' We had planned on a hands on demonstration. But, we couldn't get the toys through airport security. -- Susan R. Matthews

I don't have a professional torturer in my stories, I'm just generally awful to them -- Liz Williams

I torture people because it saves me a fortune in therapy. -- Liz Williams

I'm currently torturing a young girl... Who needs it... a fictional young woman, that is. -- Susan R. Matthews

Why should we tell our secrets to you? We could, but we'd have to kill you. Today's special only! -- Terry Pratchett

She sucked the prawn's head clean off -- Terry Pratchett

"Kidnapped by biker nuns."
"I can see the Phil drawing already!" -- audience member and Allison Lonsdale

Who's had their hand up for a really long time? You need a life. -- Tad Williams

"He writes slowly."
"There's no keyboard!" -- Tad Williams and Terry Pratchett

This is what being a writer is like actually. The difference is all the hand waving and screaming is in your head. -- Phil Foglio

Writing is easy. Getting the rest of the voices to shut up is hard. -- Phil Foglio

Yeah, yeah, yeah. An opening. So is a sucking chest wound. -- Tad Williams

And to think I bought all your comics, you bastard! -- Allison Lonsdale

We have a handicap. We have to write shit that makes sense. -- Terry Pratchett

If we're going to sell this, it should've been titled 'Big Breast Women and Exploding Starships. -- Allison Longsdale

There's a time in each collaboration where  the only reasonable solution is a life threatening wedgie. -- Allison Longsdale

There's a time in each collaboration where you just want to kill your partner. -- Terry Pratchett

It would've been easier to sneeze at each other in Morse code. -- Terry Pratchett

Someone has their hand up. We should reward that sort of behavior. -- Tad Williams

I was writing stories about polyamorous relationships long before it was trendy.

It's only when I mix alcohol and donuts that I get sick.

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