Bridging the Knight Quote List

The NatPack is evil and insidious. Lock up your womenfolk.

I feel like I'm standing next to a redwood!

First my mouth, now my nose. I'm a vampire's dream.

NatPackers like shiny objects, crows like shiny objects. Therefore, NatPackers are crows.

You're hitting me with fries and you're saying I'm strange?

I want a sno-cone all of a sudden.
What, you've never seen a pink haired woman with a stuffed animal before?

The things we do for this man.

They're taking him into the back room. They're so lucky.

I almost got biscotti up my ass.

What a chest... What a butt... What a _dick_!

She's been to my house and touched my equipment.

I don't care how good you smell or how long your fingers are!

I'm a merc. You're a reindeer.

Excuse me, I'm falling out of my bra.

No bouncing backwards.

Did LaCroix's soldiers call him 'Ludicrous' behind his back?

Kira, don't drag her, let me.

It's not a party until we inflate something.

She's giving it a blowjob.

Stop playing with that cow's nipples.

Nigel now knows the contents of my sex toy cabinet.

Who knew it was going to science fiction/workout convention.

I'll pee in a cup.
Little widdle puddle wuddle.

I'm Scottish. I'm used to seeing underwear or the lack thereof.

They're taking pictures of dead rats.

I feel like a persian rug.

I'd do a little Monty Python thingie, but I'd, um, pee.

I'm hiding Tippi from the masses so she can change her underwear.

We're following the Pack, everybody run!

Let's see how many immortal phrases can come from this gathering.

Tag team quoters.

It was a 3rd party spew.

Evil NatPacker eye roll.

Was that a birth control moment?

Your Royal Hardness.

We thought you were a puppy, but now we know you're a donkey.

That one little tuft is his symbol of manhood.

I don't want to ride a cow. I'll ride a cow if it's wearing a garland and I'm wearing a long, white flowing dress.

She's a cock.

We're trying to figure out which way to sit.
On your rear end.

She was deflowered with a sword.

I am not an enema.

I can't believe Shirl is so damned contagious.

I've never been at a 45 degree angle before.

I'm not a moose! I'm a reindeer!

Maybe they'll lock the NatPackers up!

Wharf coffee shop; Klingon coffee.

You bounce!
Just because it's revenge.

Someone musta been horny every 12 years.

We get along fine in bed.

I've never seen more inviting necks.

She does tricks for money.

I'm the prancing Cousin.

Pretty soon she'll ovulate and it'll all be over.

Oh, that's right, you won the big butt contest.

Who the heck is this moaning and groaning back here?

Tacos with rat meat? It's the Screed gourmet.

I've got to stop living in this fantasy world.

My tongue is too sensitive for that.

I'll have to rub your butt to get it.

It's a warm phallic object.

Now everybody fondle everybody else's buttocks.

Coven of pizza eaters.

I'm sure there's a phallic symbol in there somewhere but I'm not sure about the relish.

I don't care how immortal you are, after 3000 years, you're gonna have a little B.O.!

You need an on/off button. Don't you know, it's on your cervix. Just get LC to turn you off.
He'd just turn my on.
On, off, on, off.

I feel like I'm in a herd of cows.

Her hair is blinding me.

I think all of FORKNI-L needs group therapy.

You know, you don't have to eat the paper.

Oh, it's limp.

This is why women sit down to go to the bathroom.

I whipped out my thong, and I'm only doing it once.

Your bladder is contagious.

We'll freeze her bra, and put it back on her. That will wake her up.

Sorry, you're fingers aren't nearly long enough.

Pull it to the head.

There are 3 or 4 days a month when I become a kinky slut from hell.

I _am_ the lesbian magnet.

Gotta go bathroom!

Are you practicing on how to be an exotic dancer?

Stop fondling your face, you're mesmerizing me.

Nigel Bennett doesn't need to see my cellulite.

It's like getting trapped by something you can't get around.

The one thing Cousin's have a group mind about, going to the bathroom.

We have a group mind about the important stuff.
Bodily functions.

The RD Goddess: Bringing Red Dwarf to the beknighted masses.

She's trying to corrupt me into being straight.

I don't like a dirty mouth.

This conversation is deteriorating quickly.

You guys just got lucky.

You have to be able to amuse yourself when you spend a lot of time alone.

You know, a man would fit in the trunk.
Let's go get one!
You mean I've been denying myself because we didn't know we had enough trunk space?

I'll only crawl on the floor is there's something at the other end.

Spontaneous Bovine locomotion.

Well, my brain was beginning to freeze, so I thought I'd better put some socks on.

My name is PodPerson Jannette, you killed my plot device, prepare to die.
Your name is Nick, prepare to die.

Somebody's killing Catholics!
The ultimate Birth Control.

Oh god! It's the quote list that never dies!

He could probably find Scottie with that remote control and have him beam him up.

His weinerishness grew.

Garlic keeps you from being Catholic.

It's like the Mona Lisa, no matter where you go, the eyes follow you, and the hair's not far behind.

Sounds like a name "Juan Decapitato"

Hit the delete key, you WEINER!

Yeah, I'm going on that 10 day cruise to <snip> and to give him otters.

What is it about people and my ass?

I'll make a mini PWP for you.

Fuck you! Go find the Waltons and Fuck them too!

We weren't talking about otter's cervixs.

Muscat luv! So long as it's not Muscrat love!

Check me into the Betty Ford center for pirate dependency.

I'm all warm now.
We'll get you that catholic priest to cool you off.

Catholic church and the Borg...there's a connection!

Nigel, the otter pirate.
He may have only one leg and fuzzy hair, but he sure makes <name snipped> a happy chickypoo.

Must wash olive oil off...not planning to wrestle in it.

I'm a complete sissy when it comes to naked meat.

Ow! Deadly waffles!

Up your cousin cracks!

I don't know how Jamie got between my legs.

How is it we always get the religious ones? I guess know thine enemy...

Lorena's only mistake was putting it where they could find it.

Dads have no taste.

She's really well housebroken.

She's like, 'Birdie me in my hole.'

We eat Cherri.

My whole body has touched his whole body.

I think I still have his zipper imprint on my forehead.
Which zipper?

I never got close enough to smell him.

Men don't read instructions. That's why there's so many pregnancies.

Damn, this water's freezing my crotch!

Whe should have gone to an Indian restaurant and dressed her up.

I will not put Cherri in the cow costume and take her to the restaurant. (Mantra)

My whole reason for not being a man: multiple orgasms.

I'm so clueless I should be a Knightie.

What do we have to do when we get back here?
Manicures, buttons...

Are you selling these?
What are you doing with them?
I'm trading sexual favors for them!

It's so fucking perverted, and I do mean fucking perverted.

Alright, give me your face in the kitchen.

She blinked and I slipped.

Kira's mooning everyone!

I'm tucking my fannypack into my fanny.

We took 200 pornographic shots just to get it out of our system.

We're getting ready to fondle Tina's butt.

Now, nobody say anything funny til we get to the restaurant.

It's a groping party back here.
Tina can't grope anything, she's busy groping the pen.
Well, you know I'm fond of groping inanimate objects.
I don't grope inanimate objects unless they have a power cord.

I'm saving bisexuality til after my birthday.

This seat belt is so tight it's eating my flesh.

We flew with our arms flapping in the air.
Good thing I'm wearing underwear.

I'll just pretend you're Dave and drape my arm over you.
Yeah, but your fingers are fondling *my* breast!

You know, that was a dual sex quote list.

I think when I meet men who roleplay, I begin to emit roleplaying pheromones.

It's like he was a little bit uncomfortable being in bed with a bald guy.

I left important stuff at home for the SKL party; a microphone, a headphone...
The vibrator?

You want Kira to make it for us?

I have a mock cream sauce that's reduced in calories but doesn't taste like it.
That's what all the guys say.

Are there any good LaCroix scenes in "Curiouser and Curiouser?"
OH, GOD, YES!!! (moaned/screamed)
Did you just have an orgasm?
A little one, yes.

Listerine makes me drunk if I gargle long enough.

Ok, first we squash <censored>'s breasts, then we squash <censored>'s breasts.

So he was in the closet.
With chains.

Oh, good, we're not getting any quotes.
We're all still thinking about the last time we had oral sex.

How would you know what Worf tastes like?

Unless he's an especially good looking bridge guy, at which point we can make him give us oral sex.

Oh, there's a thingie on my jacket.
Wouldn't it be nice if you just put your fingers on the up button and up they go forever?

You get lucky more often than I shave my legs.

Babaganougsh is an eggplant dish that doesn't taste like eggplant.
It doesn't taste like Worf?

I could be a nun in my sleep.

Did you fondle his cervix fingers?

My mouth is so dry that if I tried to give someone a blow job their penis would fall off from the sandpaper effect.

You'll have to realize that the waitress is new and not of this planet.

I'm not on SKL, so I get immunity from the quote list.

Can I have some more pitas?
Did you say penis?

I want a Screaming Orgasm.
So do I, get in line.

I can lick the alphabet in less than 25 seconds.

I don't think my bra can withstand it.

Ok, I heard the word "penis," it's gotta be a quote.

You realize this is the kid's table, isn't it?

Flaming baklava...
Oh, the comments I could make on the sexuality of the baklava!
Didn't Marivn Gaye already do that?

Excuse me, but if you licked the alphabet in 25 seconds, wouldn't your tongue cramp?
You have to lick sentences.

Hey, wait, I wanted to have an olive spitting contest down your cleavage.

That was the best Winnie the Pooh face I've ever seen

That's how I like my cowboy boots, flaccid and erect.

What comes before flaccid and erect?

Does anyone want tea, coffee, or dessert?
I'll take Nigel!
Nigel's not a dessert, he's the full course.

I have a case of M-80's at home, we could have taken care of your neighbors.

April does everybody, and Kira pretty much cleans up after April.

Excuse me while I adjust my breast right back into my bra.

I'll grab the steering wheel and you hang it out the door.

She has selectively horny hearing.

Hi Nigel. I'd like to shake your hand, but I'm holding my breasts.

Here, have a tongue depressor.

No unauthorized touching.

Did someone just say, "My loincloth just disappeared?"

Nick's Dick is a Brick.

Nick the Brick is a Sick Dick. She just boned my nose.

The next thing you know, you're suckling the crowd.

I'm too tired to write, stop saying funny things.

Sex: it's not just a habit, it's an obsession.

If I'm not getting any, why should you get some?

Sounds like two weird sex-twins.

You know, the Keebler Elves are the ones who come in and pump guys' penises at night.

He wanted me to be the mother of his children; who were already born and in high school.

I whored my sister once and made a dollar twenty-five.
I don't think I'd get that much for my sister.

I think I'll pass on the nipple tassels.

And we'll go back by Tony's Sports Bra...

Ok, everybody fondle my butt.

The Moo Mobile.

I'm not planning on killing myself here.
Oh, wouldn't that be fun.

I'm a Merc, not a masochist...or maybe I'm a masochist, I'm not a sadist.

If I'm not able to dance on Saturday, I'm going to shit...don't quote that.
Quote it.

I ain't huggin' anything without a penis at this point.

Here, hug the tree...but does it have a penis?

He's fuzzy.
We'll pet the tree.
He has a penis.


I will attempt not to do anything stupid.
Isn't that an oxymoron?


Who smells like me? It's not me, but it smells like me!

One minute we talk about vampires, the next about healthy, grainy cereal.

I don't want an Evil Pink butt.

Tippi can't get it in.
That's because Bast is sitting on it.
I thought Tippi didn't need to get it in.
Well, if Tippi can't get it in, I'm wide enough.
The hole's not big enough.
Well, it's been two weeks.

Something smells meaty.
It's a big piece of meat.

It's becoming a sodomy festival.

I'm waiting so I can fondle Tippi's butt.

There's so much estrogen in my blood that if somebody got my blood they'd grow breasts.

I just like to say no until it's time to say yes.

Where do I want to put this?
Up your butt.
Why not?

Somebody wake me up when it's my turn to do Nigel!
Someone give her a sleeping pill.

I'm stuck on this breast thing.

LaCroix comes to drain me and wakes up in a Wonderbra.

That's a fucked-up turn.
A fucked-up turn for fucked up people.
Nigel, it's my turn to be fucked up!

Thank God, there was a minimum of fondling!

You're a Knightie, you should be ashamed of yourself!

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