I'm objective; I object to everything.

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on.

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

A day for firm decisions!!! Or is it??

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane.

Never give a sucker an even break; take everything you can from him.

Millions of years ago, man climbed out of the slime. You want to join the party?

Laws are like bones; they're made to be broken.

It's only a game until you lose.

If God had intended man to watch TV, he would have given him rabbit ears.

Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.

Fine day to work off excess energy, steal something heavy.

If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

Everything is unimportant in some way.

Life is a terminal disease.

Your lucky color has faded.

Overdrawn? But I still have checks left!

Yeah, there's a lot of stress here, but I'm not straining.

How 'bout coming up to my place for a spot of heavy breathing?

The world's so terrible that one can only make fun of it.

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