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Today is the first day of the rest of the mess. You know it's a bad day when the sun comes up in the west.
You know it's a bad day when the bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
You know it's a bad day when you put both contact lenses in the same eye.
You know it's a bad day when your pet rock snaps at you.
You know it's a bad day when the blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
You know it's a bad day when your income tax refund check bounces.
You know it's a bad day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
You know it's a bad day when Suicide Prevention puts you on hold.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Mother Nature is a bitch.
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
When things just can't get any worse, they will.
Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right.
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.
Always keep a record of data - it indicates you've been working.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Experiments should be reproducible - they should all fail in the same way.
Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
Anything that begins well, ends badly. Anything that begins badly, ends worse.
Any given program, when running, it is obsolete.
You lick it, you own it!