Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

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We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'...till you can find a rock.

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.

Listen to Rush Limbaugh? No thanks, my parents aren't related.

Who are you to question why your God doesn't want me to believe in Him?

Free speach keeps Rush Limbaugh on the air; free thought keeps me from beleiveing him.

If AT&T isn't the Evil Empire then why do they have the Death Star as part of their corporate logo?

If men became pregnant abortion would be a sacrament

He's YOUR God; they are YOUR rules; YOU burn in Hell

My mind is not for sale or rent to any god or government

A woman's place is in the House... and Senate

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