Never go into a hug off balance.

Life's a bitch, and then you're reincarnated.

Cute and interesting are two different things.

If there were no such thing as bears, what kind of hugs would we give?

Life without glasses is fuzzy-wonderful.

It's your right to be stupid, but it doesn't mean you should be.

Life's a trip and then you run out of Travelers' Checks.

If life's a trip, then where's my ticket?

IBM: The stupidity goes in when the name goes on.

I wouldn't know how to act if I weren't in trouble.

If you're gonna' panic, panic constructively.

A kibble is one thousand nibbles.

Having a good time can be deadly.

Reality is only fantasy gone stale.

Be good; if you can't be good, forget it!

If you can't go first class, charge it.

Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Be fruit fly and multiple.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was an Escape key for all of our problems?

I know my biology; it's your biology I don't know.

Life isn't weird; it's the people in it.

I should have known better; every happy moment in my life came from lying.

If you can't be weird, why be?

It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.

Gravity always gets me down.

I've given up trying to escape from reality; they always find me anyway.

I'm serious; it was a joke.

Hairy Kiwi: Death by fruit.

If we're going to have fun, we've got to be serious about it.

If I can't fix it, it ain't broken.

I'm not a psychiatrist; I'm just an expert at being confused.

Now that I've finally got my act together, I've forgotten what I'm supposed to do with it.

I cleaned up my act once, but I decided it was more fun when it was dirty.

This was only a test; if this had been a real emergency, you'd be dead.

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