If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful, give me a call.

Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you wouldn't have been notified.

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Get forgiveness now - tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.

Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.

CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..

Cautious: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.

The more things change, the more they stay insane.

They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid.

If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.

Do what comes naturally now. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Honk if you like peace and quiet.

Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.

Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!

Paul Revere was a tattle-tail.

Monday is an awful was to spend 1/7 of your life.

Fine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can.

Keep grandma off the streets. Legalize bingo.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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