The only way you'll be getting a messy wet kiss is if you're passing a water closet. -- Blackadder, Blackadder's Christmas Carol

Size doesn't matter my friend. It's where you put it. -- Blackadder, Blackadder's Christmas Carol

You have the body of a weak woman, and the mind of a criminal genius. -- Blackadder, Blackadder's Christmas Carol

She's as subtle as a rhinosourus's horn up the backside. -- Blackadder, Blackadder's Christmas Carol

"I mean, what can I do with a woman that I can't do with you?"
"I can't conceive." -- Prince and Blackadder, Blackadder