All names have been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent.

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About a year ago, I went on a 10 day cruise with a tour group. I shared a cabin with 3 other women (and it was *cramped*!), Rachel, Harriet, and Nora.

OK... Imagine: docked at Cozumel, Mexico for the evening. Dinner has just ended. Bernard, a member of our tour group, bounded over to our table to find out who's going to go ashore and party. Rachel and Harriet declined Bernard's gracious offer while Nora and I decided to go.

Off we went into Cozumel with a few more members of our tour group, where we decided to do a decent impression of the usual American tourist shopaholic. After a few stores, Nora and I had to go use the little girls room, so we went while the rest of the group went on to the next store.

Side note: Earlier in the day, on our way back from the ruins at Chichen Itza, we stopped for lunch where there was a gift shop. With flutes and recorders. I picked up one and played around with it.

Nora and I entered the shop after visiting the restroom, where I saw a really cool looking chess set. Just as I'm about to sneak up on it from behind, Bernard goes "Jean, there's a flute in the back you need to blow!"

Nora and I tried to ignore them because we saw jewelry, but the rest of our party insisted. Nora knew he was up to something told me to humor him so we could go back to the jewelry. So, I went into the back of the store and Nora followed. We look up, and there is shelf upon shelf upon shelf of flutes in the shape of penises. Little ones, big ones, huge ones, thin ones, fat ones.

We gave Bernard a *look* (Something like "Men! Can't live with them, can't housetrain them properly!) and went back to jewelry drooling. The whole store started to laugh. Nora and I were cool and collected while they were giggling madly.

Next day, while we were waiting for lunch on cruise ship, we were listening to muzak system, when some pan pipe type music came on.

Bernard goes "Jean, I bet that if you had blown that penis last night, this is the sound it would have made!"

The whole table turned to me with shocked expressions and Harriet went "*Where* did you go last night?!?"

I gave Bernard another *look* and explained. The whole table was just stunned. The looks on the faces around the table was priceless.