Disclaimer: Methos belongs to Rysher. Triona and Stephanie belong to the Blood Ties universe and their owners, of which I am one. 'The Walrus and the Carpenter' and 'The Hunting of the Snark' are both by Lewis Carroll.

Thanks to Denise for beta-reading this for me. May be archived to the VorteX archive only.

"I can *not* believe we're here," Triona grumbled, gesturing to her handcuffs.

"Oh hush. It could be worse," Methos replied before smiling innocently at  the cop glaring in their direction.

"Oh, how?" Stephanie rejoined, glaring at the immortal, remembering the last  day...

=====

"How many people can they fit in here? It's like a can of sardines!"  Stephanie complained as she glared at the other people in the holding cell.

"Oh, stop whining," Triona snapped. "That's all you do, whine."

Stephanie stuck her tongue out at her sister.

"Could you two stop it? You're giving me a headache!" Methos exclaimed from  the next cell over, where the men were being held.

"I'm hungry!" Stephanie continued, pretending she didn't hear Methos. "Wait!  I think I have some food in my pocket!" Scrounging around in her jeans  pocket, she pulled out half a candy bar. "Yes! Chocolate! You know, we  really should complain... I mean, the fact that I was able to bring stuff  into the holding cell doesn't bode well for their frisking procedures."

Triona shook her head and rolled her eyes as Stephanie took a big bite of  her bar.

"Ewwwwwww!" the younger woman said with a look of disgust. "It's stale."

"How long has that been in your pocket?" Triona asked.

"Umm..." Stephanie said while thinking. "Quite a long time actually."

"And the last time you washed those jeans?" Methos asked.

"Oh, that is so gross!" Stephanie said, looking for a place to spit the  chocolate out on. "I'm eating washed and dried stale chocolate!"

"And here I thought you could eat *anything*," Triona replied sweetly.

=====

The bailiff yelled out and broke Stephanie's reverie, "All rise! Judge  Moffatt presiding."

After sitting regally at the bench, Judge Moffatt waved a hand to have  everyone sit. "First case, bailiff."

"Yes sir," the bailiff said as he lifted his clipboard. "Case number 14678.  The defendants are charged with public drunkenness and indecent exposure."

"You mean they were making out on the street," the Judge replied with a  gleam in his eye.

"Um, yes, your honor," the bailiff replied with a sigh.

"Wooo! I can tell this is going to be a *great* night!" The judge said while  rubbing his hands. "And how do the defendants plead?"

The public defender had to poke both her clients to get them to wake up  enough to state their plea of guilty.

"Well then, How about..." Judge Moffatt broke off as his forehead burrowed  in thought. "I know!" the judge exclaimed with a look of glee. "They're to  have ten hours of community service each. Case closed." The judge's gavel  banged against the top of his desk. "Next case."

"Case number 14678. The defendants are charged with carrying a concealed  weapon and assault."

"And the plea?" the judge asked the two surly teen boys in front of him.

"Guilty," they chorused. A few seconds passed, and the taller of the two  added, "Sir."

"You, young man, have the beginnings of good manners," Judge Moffatt said  with a nod. "If you can quote one verse from the 'Walrus and the Carpenter'  by Lewis Carroll, I'll let you go free."

"Sir!" the assistant district attorney exclaimed as he rushed to his feet.  "I must object!"

"Objection noted, and overruled," the judge said gleefully. "Well, son?"

"I... I don't know," the youth said after thinking for a few moments.

"Right then. I sentence both of you to a month in juvenile hall," the judge  said, banging his gavel. He jumped up from his seat and said, "You might  want to read some of the greats of literature boy." He then posed  dramatically and proceeded to quote a verse from 'The Walrus and the Carpenter':

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things: Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing-wax -- Of cabbages -- and kings -- And why the sea is boiling hot -- And whether pigs have wings."

A few seconds of silence met his recitation before Stephanie started to applaud.

"Stephanie!" Triona hissed.

"What? It was a great recitation!" Stephanie whispered back.

Judge Moffatt bowed his head in Stephanie's direction and sat down. "Next case!"

"Case 14678," the bailiff stated.

"That's us," Methos said as he got up to stand by the defendant's table,  Triona and Stephanie following.

"The charges are trespassing with the intent to burgle," the bailiff continued.

"Those are serious charges. What have you to say to that?" the judge said,  looking sternly at the immortal and two women.

"Well, your honor. We weren't there to steal..." Triona began.

"If I may interrupt," the assistant district attorney said as he rose. "The  three were caught in a city garden after closing time, and reaching to pick  flowers."

"Your honor, may I?" Stephanie asked.

"Stephanie, what are you doing?" Methos hissed.

"Just listen," Stephanie said out of the corner of her mouth.

"I'll listen to what you have to say, young lady. Make it interesting  though," the judge said, settling back into his chair.

"Of course!" Stephanie said with a wide-eyed look. "You see, your honor,  we're here in New Orleans on business, and my friends and I decided to take  a night out on the town."

"You mean you went carousing and drinking," the judge interrupted.

Nodding slowly, Stephanie replied. "Yes, sir, you could say that. Anyway, we  had been going through bars for a few hours when Adam here told us a tale..."

Stephanie then proceeded to tell the judge the events of the previous  evening, leaving out any mention of immortals.

=====

"That's a load of bull," Stephanie stated before taking a sip from her drink.

"I'm telling you, it's the truth!" Methos exclaimed, his hand over his heart  dramatically.

"Prove it," Triona said.

"Fine," Methos said, nodding his head decisively. "Follow me."

"Wait!" Stephanie said. "I want a refill. Anyone else?" After receiving two  negatives, she went up to the bar and asked for a refill.

"For here, or to go?" the bartender asked.

"To go," Stephanie replied. After a few moments, she received her drink in a  plastic cup and joined her friends. "Okay, let's get out of here."

The three walked down the street as Methos continued his story.

"No way! That is *not* humanly possible!" Stephanie stated.

"How would you know?" Methos asked. "Have you tried?"

Stephanie glared at the immortal while Triona asked, "How can you prove this  tall tale?"

"Easy. This garden," Methos said, gesturing to the iron gate in front of  them, "is where it all happened."

"Uh huh," Triona replied. "So, now what?"

"We get in, of course," Methos said.

"I'm not climbing any iron fences," Stephanie stated, her arms crossed  across her chest.

"Guys, look at that." Triona pointed to the sign next to the gate that said,  'No entrance after dark.'

"We'll just get in, look, then get right back out," Methos shrugged. "No one  will know we're even there."

"And, how are we getting in?" Triona asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I have my ways," Methos said loftily before turning to the gate. A few  moments later, the gate swung open with a creak.

"You picked the lock, didn't you?" Triona accused.

"I have to have *some* secrets from you guys," Methos replied as he gestured  for the women to proceed him into the garden.

"So, where is this 'proof' of yours?" Stephanie asked as the three traveled  down the path toward the center of the garden.

"Right there," the immortal stated, gesturing to the statue that all the  paths in the garden lead to. "There's my proof."

"Okay, I can take that the statue is here. But, the inscription?" Triona  asked, bending down at the base of the statue, pushing some flowers aside to  read the base.

"FREEZE! POLICE!" a voice shouted out behind them.

"Oh hell," Stephanie muttered as the three froze.

"Hello, officer," Methos said soothingly. "This isn't what it seems."

"You tourists are all alike," the cop growled. "Put your hands up and don't  move."

"Look, officer. We can explain. You see, this is all just one big joke,"  Triona said with a smile.

"Save it, I'm not interested," the police officer said coldly before calling  for backup.

=====

"And that's our story, your honor," Stephanie finished.

"Interesting tale," Judge Moffatt stated. "And quite entertaining. I like  you, young lady."

Stephanie smiled. "Thank you, your honor."

"Tell me, child. Are you a fan of Carroll?" the judge asked.

Stephanie grinned and recited, "For the Snark's a peculiar creature, that  wo'n't/Be caught in a commonplace way./Do all that you know, and try all  that you don't:/Not a chance must be wasted to-day!"

"Ah, 'The Hunting of the Snark'," Judge Moffatt said with a nod. "A personal  favorite." He then turned to the assistant district attorney. "Do you have  anything to add?"

"No, your honor," the man in question said with a shake of his head.

"Having heard all the evidence, I hearby suspend sentence. It was obvious  that these three young people meant no harm, they were just a little tipsy.  Next case!" the judge said before banging his gavel.

"Thank you, your honor!" Stephanie said with a grin and a wave of his hand  before she, Triona, and Methos left the courthouse.

"Hey! Mardi Gras starts in a few days! How about we stay and party?" Methos  said with a grin as he put an arm around each of the women.

"You have *got* to be kidding!" Triona exclaimed as they walked toward the  sunset.

=====

Sorry for the ending, I couldn't resist!

In case you're curious, last I knew, New Orleans (maybe all of Louisiana,  but I know at least New Orleans) has no open container law. They even have  drive through margarita stands...

And, I have no idea what tale Methos told them. He's clamed up about it.