I was watching JAG last night. The premise was a female officer being accused of sexual harassment. During the course of the trial, her divorce and sexual history came up. She was asked how many sexual encounters she'd had in the three years since her divorce. Her answer was, "none". Everyone, from the Defense, to the Prosecution feigned amazed disbelief.
It bugged me last night, and it's bugging me now. Why is it so hard to believe that a woman might not be having sex? What is our preoccupation with sex, as if somehow, if you aren't playing the game, you're weird, strange, a freak? God, I haven't been on a date in so many years, you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you. I'm not a freak. I'm a normal woman who happens to not be very good at attracting the opposite sex. Never have been. I have lots of male friends, but I'm a buddy, or a sister to them. Men tend to not see me in a sexual way. As one of the guys at work said, "You're not a girl, you're a Denise." [shrug]
I'm not saying all this looking for pity or anything, merely to point out that not every woman in America defines herself by her sexual encounters. My reasons are a mixture of lack of opportunity and moral convictions. Other women I know don't partake for reasons and situations of their own. None of us are freaks. We have lives, friends, interests, jobs. All we don't have are men in our lives. Does that make me want to jump for joy? No, it doesn't. Yes, I get lonely -- we all do -- but I deal with my life as it is and try to take the occasional blue mood in stride as a part of my life.
I'm who I am, and I'm not ashamed of it!
Posted by Ith at October 30, 2002 12:14 PM